


Imtimacy

by Kittykat_LoverofFandoms



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 00:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20200525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittykat_LoverofFandoms/pseuds/Kittykat_LoverofFandoms
Summary: Eddie loses his father at the age of three





	Imtimacy

At a young age Eddie was told of the dangers of getting sick, of how easily he could get sick and that only his mother is able to love him no one will love a sickly person only mummy can take care of him.

At the age of three his father Frank died of lung cancer, Eddie was too young to remember him but he hears things about his father from his old friends, he was a mechanic and rode a motorcycle. He listened to old records of classic rock and of course smoked heavily. As Eddie got older it was hard to his mother and father could have been together.

At the age of three and a half his mother pulled him out of pre-school and cut of contract with Frank’s friends and family. Sonia started to give Eddie multiple pills a day and telling his is sick like his dad and needs to stay inside so she can protect him.

At the age of four due to him being a curious young child and being stuck inside for a nearly a year, he was climbing around his house when he fell off a chair and cut his knee. Most parents would of place a plaster on the knee or would have spoken to the child but not Sonia she started to yell at him about how stupid he was and how dangerous every is and the tiny cut on his knee will kill him but not before rotting his leg off. Then in her sickly sweet voice that Eddie that only she could help him and that if he ever left him his leg will rot away.

At the age of five his mother made sure to tell anyone he will listen the Eddie was only four so he didn’t need to go to school, it was a small town so everyone knew it was a lie. When a teacher come to visit she ask Eddie to count to ten (he couldn’t) or to point to something yellow (he couldn’t), Sonia was order to send him to school.

When school start at the age of five and one month. Eddie was sitting in his mother car with his mother screaming at him not to touch anyone or anything, to take his pills. He sat down next to a boy with reddish hair, he smiled kindly and open his mouth to talk but nothing come out, Eddie remembers him of preschool. Once Eddie got home his mother rip his clothes off and dragged him into the shower and scrub him raw. His clothes were washed twice. Eddie became use to this, his skin being red and sore. The boy with reddish hair name was Bill and he has a massive stutter that sometimes leaves him unable to speak. Eddie liked Bill, Bill never judged Eddie for being afraid to of germs and Eddie was patience with Bill whenever he was talking they soon become fast friends.

At the age of six Eddie met two new boys, both with a head full of curls one of which were held under a Kippah called Stan and the other boy with wild curls that falls in front of glasses that are nearly as big as his face called Richie. Sonia is not happy when she hears that Eddie has friends. She tries her hardest to say how dangerous those boys are and how they are going to use him and taint him. Eddie didn’t understand his mother and she wouldn’t explain herself but Eddie didn’t care he loved his new friends.

At the age of six and a half Eddie was his major freak out when he tooth fells out. Richie is the one who calms him down and tells him that it is normal for teeth to fall out and smiled wide to show missing teeth in his mouth. Bill and Stan smile as well to show their missing teeth. Sonia tries to tell him in her sickly sweet voice that his tooth fell out because he is a bad son, this was the first time Eddie feels doubt.

At the age of seven Eddie touches something that wasn’t his for the first time, he drops his pencil and starts to freak out about the germs, Stan traps him on the shoulder and passes his pencil to Eddie and pick up the other pencil on the floor. Eddie notices how much Stan washes his hands so he accepts the pencil. Sonia scrubs him so raw he bleeds, she is so angry.

At the age of eight Eddie notices his eye slight is not that great, the teachers try to talk Sonia but she won’t listen. Instead Richie get him his old pair of glass that were too weak for his eyes, they work perfectly for Eddie however he only wears them at school and hides his them in his mother in his second fanny pack.

At the age of nine Eddie runs for the first time since he was four years old. His mother wrote notes to the school saying that Eddie was too sick to do anything physical. However as Eddie got older as he played with his friends and since he never get hurt, Sonia could not stop him. One day while helping Bill pitching his baseballs, Eddie hit the ball far away instinct takes over and he starts to run around the bases for the first time ever he feels the feeling of freedom.

At the age of ten Eddie starts to listen to his mother many conversations on the phone talking about sex and how disgusting and wrong it was and people rot away and die if they ever have sex. How people can lose limbs if they get a cut or touch something dirty, how homosexuals are the most horrid thing there is and she never let her child be anywhere near them or be one. He never knew that there was no one on the other side of the line.

At the age of eleven Eddie finally talks to his mother out of washing him but she still stands in the bathroom watching him. It around his time he starts to think about running away.

At the age of twelve Eddie get a secret job at the machine were is father used to work. It was the first time since Frank died that Eddie saw a picture of him and learned what he was like. Stan covers for him and helps him find a hiding place for the money and photos of his father in the wooded area near where Stan does his bird watching.

At the age of thirteen IT happens and everything has a spilled out in the open, his mother lied to him all these years. He gains three move friends Ben, Bev and Mike they become the losers club and they are all broken but not when they are together. He is no longer afraid of his mother, he is both strong and broken but Eddie will get his freedom. He hates Sonia for what she said to Bev. Sonia being to take her abuse to a physical level with her son as she know that it is the only way to continue her control of Eddie.

At the age of fourteen Eddie attends his first heath and sex-ed classes learn the truth about the lies he has been told. He learns about love and starts to notice Richie more and more. Eddie starts to block the door when he showers because Sonia still insists that she must do it as Eddie is too weak to properly do it himself.

At the age of fifteen Eddie starts showering at school or at the losers club. He begins to think why Bev as not return to Derry to see the losers. He still needs more money to fully leave hopefully by the time he is seventeen.

At the age of sixteen Eddie almost kisses Richie, Sonia see these and locks Eddie in her closet tried up with belts and rope for a week only opening the door to hit him and yell at him about how disgusting he is and that she will fix him. They move in the night and as they left Eddie forgot about the clown, his friends, Richie but most of all his freedom.

At the age of eighteen Eddie is getting married to a girl he doesn’t love who Sonia pick out, called Myra. She doesn’t want sex form him and is very much like his mother. Sonia lives with him now Eddie has two abusive women controlling him.

At the age of Twenty-two Eddie think about freedom, the only way he can see freedom is death. He get a job working on cars and slowly works up to a mangers job. Myra and Sonia always watches him on everything he does, the people much fun of him for this but they don’t understand no one understands anymore.

At the age of Twenty-nine he takes over a driving company and makes it the best in New York he works eighteen hours a day so he never is really at home. He hides anything sharp at night before he leaves because in the morning his wants to rip into his skin open. There is something missing and Eddie never knows what is.

At the age of Thirty-one Eddie learns that he is afraid of clowns, he is not sure why and is the many wonders of his life that does not make any sense. He hates anything about horror but loves William Denbrough’s books he feel a connection when he read those books, they are the closed thing to freedom he can get, that and feeding the birds or collecting rocks.

At the age of Thirty-eight Eddie tries to die, he almost jumped on in front of a train in the subway, when he sees an ad for a trip to Hawaii with a man with dark hair wearing a tacky Hawaiian shirt he stops and smiles he makes him feel something inside that he has never felt before, it is the same feeling when he hears a corny joke or when he works on fixing cars. Those things help him on dark days like the one he has.

At the age of Forty Eddie world changes he remembers good and bad things, he learns why he loves those Horror books, feeding birds and collecting rocks they were little reminders of his life and freedom with the losers. He remembers the clown and the fear of his childhood. Most importantly he remembers Richie still as annoying as ever no longer wearing Hawaiian shirt but a leather jacket, still making corny jokes but the feelings are still there. The worst thing is that they are incomplete, the darkness that almost took Eddie took Stan instead, the losers are not mad they wish Stan was with them. 

At the age of Forty Eddie finally kisses Richie, they hold on to each other with tears in their eyes. Eddie let go of all his fears and is intimate with Richie, they both knew that they only had a short time with each other. If it was for the bloody clown Eddie would have been free but in the moments with Richie we felt free.

At the age of Forty Eddie dies in the arms of the person he loves, Eddie wishes he could Richie that he was okay, that he love Richie with all his heart, that he wasn’t scared or in pain, that he is now free and he knew that where he was going he will see his father and be with Stan and little Georgie. Eddie wishes he could tell Bev that she was the strongest person ever and to be safe, Eddie wishes he could tell Ben to not let go of his love and fight for Bev, Eddie wishes he could tell Bill to let go of his guilt of Georgie and now his death and it is not his fault, he wishes he could tell Mike to leave Derry and start to live his life but Eddie knew that the darkness will take all the losers soon as they will forgot and never understand who they are anymore.

At the age Forty as Eddie takes his final breath he think what might of happen if his father never died what might have been, but closes his eyes and let the darkness take him once and for all. There is no room for ifs now.


End file.
